How To Host Your Own Play Party
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One thing to keep in mind when looking at having a gathering of your own... This will be YOUR party. It is a PRIVATE gathering. Unless you decide to do otherwise, people can't simply decide that they want to come and then show up at your doorstep. YOU chose the people who will or won't be there. So, if there are folks who you know and you want to ask them first, great! That's the best way to start...a private invite to each person on your list of friends in the community. Then, simply go from there.
Here's a little list of things you can do in preparation for hosting your own gathering...
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1. Talk about the idea with one or two friends who will be able and willing to give you a hand.
2. Keep in mind that you need not get fancy or large your first time around.
3. Choose a date and location that will work for you as well as any time restrictions. (A single afternoon is perfectly legit and is actually how the formal part of most gatherings is done.)
4. Decide on a list of friends you would like to have join in your gathering.
5. Send those folks a personal invitation to come, asking that they RSVP soon enough to open things to others if there's room and the desire to do so.
6. If you are allowing for others to apply after your invites have been responded to, post a notice on this site and the TMF to let folks know what your plans are. If you do this, you'll want to give the following information in that post...
.- date and time
.- city in which it's being held (You do NOT want to post the exact location at this point.)
.- a contact person
.- the per-person cost of the event (You are permitted by law to cover your expenses but not to profit. So, cover the cost of the location, food, drinks and any prizes you may want to have.)
.- a deadline they need to respond by (Be sure to give yourself time for the rest of the process.)
.- You may also want to point out that room will be limited.
7. Once people start writing with requests to join you, you'll want to get more info. from them. Here are two things you can now use...
.- The form at the bottom of this page can be copied for use in finding out who they are, where they live, etc. You'll want to assure them that this information will be kept in confidence.
.- You should also send them the rules for your gathering at this point and ask that they acknowledge and agree to them. (A base set of rules can be found on the "Gathering Rules" page. Feel free to add to it if you like.)
8. If you're looking to get a solid local group started, it might be good to work your way through those who are nearby first. Then, as space permits, you can add in others. But, no matter where people are from, if you don't feel comfortable with them, you are not obligated to accept them. (When in doubt, asking other hosts for information is always a viable option. We're always willing to help.)
9. Arrange for the location, if outside the home. Restaurants are fine for munches but not for play. So, you may want to look at a hotel suite or an adult club with a room you can rent for an afternoon.
10. Once you have your list of people, you'll need to contact those whom you are not able to welcome. A simple note stating your appreciation of their interest but that you're out of room is the easiest way to handle this. (There will always be some who are disappointed. But, that's really not your problem.)
11. Now, you need to contact those who WILL be coming to give them all the details and take care of business.
.- Get their payment of any fee you may need to charge to cover the cost. (Many may prefer a money order to help guard anonymity. It's YOUR choice whether or not to mess with personal checks. Cash going through the mail is a target and not recommended. It's your choice whether to accept payment at the door.)
.- Give them the exact location and time frame. (Be sure to request that they keep this information to themselves.)
.- Give them any contact numbers that could be necessary if they run late or lose their way.
.- Pulling up a map of the location area on yahoo (or another online map site) and providing the link is always helpful, too.
12. You'll want to ask a couple of people (preferably with some play experience) to act as monitors to be sure that all play is safe and comfortable for those involved. These people will be the ones to aid the host in enforcing the rules and being sure that boundaries set by lees are not crossed. Be sure that you communicate with these folks in advance to be sure everyone is on the same page with things.
13. If you're planning on any raffles or door prizes, this is when you'll want to finish gathering those items. Keep in mind that these are extras that you don't HAVE to have. But, if you decide that you'd like to have some, that's cool too. Some sites are willing to provide prizes. So, don't be shy about talking to them. Some possible items would be...
.- A video purchased from or donated by one of the video companies.
.- A copy of one of the MTJ magazines.
.- A pre-paid months membership to Extreme Tickling (or another member site).
.- A disc full of pictures and/or video clips.
.- A set of cuffs.
.- some tickle toys
14. If you're planning to provide any food and drink at the gathering, you'll want to be arranging for that. Here are some things to think about...all assuming that this is a play time...
.- be sure to double-check your applications that folks turned in to see if there are any food allergies you need to plan for
.- water is an absolute must
.- sodas, juices, coffee, tea and milk are all good ideas (don't forget real and artificial sugar for coffee and tea drinkers)
.- snack foods such as chips, cookies and fruit are a good idea to have available
.- if you're going through a meal time, having rolls, meats, cheeses, condiments and a couple of salads is an easy way to feed folks
.- ordering pizzas , sandwiches, etc. is an option, but tends to take more time and money
.- use disposable materials as much as possible to save on cleanup (paper products are bio-degradable and recommended)
.- if the gathering is in a home, preparing something that can be popped in the over and warmed during play is another possibility, though one that requires a bit more time and planning. (I did two full meals for ours, having to do nothing that day aside from heating things up and sticking a turkey in the oven.)
15. Clean-up is easiest if you're taking care of things as you go along. Asking folks to be sure to dispose of garbage and keep toys gathered as they go along will go a long way to make it quick and relatively easy. If you're in a public place that requires you being out at a certain time, be sure to give yourself enough time for this. Setting the end time of the gathering at least a half hour prior to this time will help.
16. Now, sit back, relax and have a drink while you go to the various forums and post a new thread sharing about what a great gathering you had so others may join you down the road for your next one! ;-)